Tough Day

Yesterday was a tough day.  By the end of the day I was barely holding it together.  I've been sinking slowly into a depression, feeling the water creeping up over my chin, and I suffered a loss yesterday that took me completely by surprise and almost did me in.  I'm keeping my nose above water, barely, but even the smallest wave can feel overwhelming.

To top that off, my son's school called me to schedule an SST (Student Success Team) meeting.  I've been expecting it all year, and was actually surprised that it took so long.  I know that most of his behavior issues stem from not getting enough time and positive attention from his parents, so the meeting was just another reminder of how I'm not doing enough.

I do not have what he needs to help him through this.  I know he's starving for attention from us, but just the thought of giving him one more ounce makes me cringe.  I have many great ideas on how to fix this problem, but no energy to do them.  And when I think about doing these things every day, or every week, I feel like crawling into bed and staying there forever.  I don't think I have anything left to give.

It would be ever so helpful if the sun would come out and stay out.  Why am I freezing in the middle of May?

On the bright side, I did sign a new part-time child yesterday.  On the downside it will require working until 6:00 or 6:30 pm at least once or twice a month.

I am doing better today, though.  I did my 15 minute workout, even though I didn't want to.  My husband got up early to make breakfast for my son as was suggested by the SST, which was nice.  Tonight we'll try another suggestion they made.  I guess we'll see how long that lasts.