Women and Oppression...

There has been some online discussion recently about the oppression of women in the church. I wrote about my feelings on the subject in January. That post can be found here. I don't know what prompted that outburst, but it is something that rankles still. It is my opinion that much of the oppression of women in our culture originated with the early catholic church. And since the church shaped much of European tradition, it is only as we distance ourselves from christian culture that we move toward equality for women.

Again, this is my opinion. If you don't agree, that's fine too.

But interestingly, there have been a few posts recently about the same topic. The first was by Jeromy at A Mending Shift. He spoke eloquently here about a personal experience that spoke to a lot of people, judging by the comments left. It was a beautiful piece. Jeromy has a knack for truth-telling and story-telling that I enjoy.

Jonathan took up the challenge here.

Then Jeff, at Losing My Religion, spurred by Jeromy's post wrote about his own experience, and how it has affected him. This post hit closer to home with me, and I left a comment on his blog pointing him to the post I had written in January. That sparked an interest in discussion, and rather than leaving long comments back and forth, Jeff wrote a separate post in response.

I recommend reading the posts. But I say that from a position of bias.

I've been interested in this topic my whole life. Growing up, being a girl was shoved in my face at every turn. Having five brothers only made the delineation between what was "allowed" more obvious. Some of the limitations were cultural. Most were religious. When I went away to a strict boarding academy in high school, the lines were even more obvious.

Then, as I got older and got into the work force, I saw the difference in a different light. There were definite "girl" jobs and "boy" jobs. Again I chafed. I wasn't brave enough or lucky enough to choose my path while disregarding cultural norms, so I definitely wasn't one of the many laudable women who have trail-blazed new pathways through corporate america.

Many of the women mentioned in the various posts were specifically relating to being excluded from leadership in a church, but the feelings are the same.

I just want to say, I appreciate the topic being under discussion.

Cooking

I'm a Cancer. At least, according to the astrological calendar, I was born under the zodiac sign of Cancer. I have this little book that describes the characteristics of Cancers, and it seems to know quite a lot about me. I find it odd that all of the millions of people born in a month would somehow be similar enough to be described in such terms, but that's a different discussion for a different time.

According to the book, Cancers are caretakers. And for a Cancer, the best way to take care of, or show love to the ones we care for is to feed them.

I don't know about every other Cancer on the planet, but this is true about me. I do show love and appreciation by feeding people. It's an even greater act of love (in my opinion) because I really don't like to cook. What I enjoy is serving the people I love good food. The more complex the dish, or decadent the flavor, the better.

Because of this, and the fact that I did not marry a chef, I have worked steadily at becoming a better cook. I think I have reached a point where I can claim to be a pretty good cook. I'm not great, and could definitely benefit from formal training, but I do well enough.

However, I still do this as an act of love. It makes me happy to please people with a delicious and home cooked meal. I am disappointed when my offering is not as good as I think it could be.

Because this is how and why I cook, it follows that when I am unhappy I have no interest in cooking. I can see that in the way we eat out. When I am feeling good, we eat at home more often. When I am not, we eat out a lot more.

So I wonder, how does this work in your home? Is one person principally responsible for the cooking in your house, or is it a shared task? If so, how is this decided? How do you appreciate the person that keeps you fat and happy? Or is this considered a responsibility that is expected and thus taken for granted? What do you do for the person that feeds you every day?

Raffle Fundraiser

My son's school is holding a fundraiser, as does every school. As fundraisers go, though, I think this one is pretty cool.

The school is offering a raffle called "Home Free". First prize is house payments for a year (up to $25k), or $15,000 cash. Second prize is a $500 gift card for gas (or whatever), and the third prize is $250 Raley's gift card for groceries. The whatever means the gift card is a visa gift card, so theoretically you could use it for whatever you wanted.

The raffle tickets are selling for $100 each. You can check out the raffle here: http://www.goldenvalleycharterschool.com/homefree/index.html#

The downside to the raffle is that you have to print out the order form and mail it in. The upside is that they are only selling 1000 tickets, so we might have a better chance at winning, right? Well, better than the lottery, anyway.

It would be cool if someone I knew won!

Weight Loss, Exercise

I started working out a little while ago in an attempt to get that hard body I think might be hiding under my thick skin. I'm not fat, but I'm getting older, and my skin is starting to sag in places it really shouldn't.

There's also the fact that I've always had a problem with a muffin top, and it would be nice to see if I might ever achieve a flat belly. This might just be wishful thinking.

I have a friend who graciously agreed to "practice" on me while he works his way through his personal trainer certification process. Nothing beats a free personal trainer. Nothing. Really.

Plus, he likes me, so he's nice.

After experiencing soreness in muscles I didn't know existed, and some that I didn't think could ever BE sore, I can tell I'm getting stronger. My problem is that exercising makes me hungry. Actually, hungry is an understatement. I feel like I'm absolutely starving every minute of the day! And I've never been good at deny myself something I NEED, and I need to eat!

So, exercising tends to make me fat! What the heck? I tell people this, and they look at me like I'm smoking something. Really, I do gain weight. It's not hard to believe when I'm eating twice as much as I'm used to eating, and only burning off a quarter of what I'm packing away.

Knowing this, I've really tried to eat less this time around. I'm only partially succeeding. I am a little chunkier than when I started, but so far it isn't completely out of hand. In fact, I'm semi-successfully trying to eat less than I was before I started working out, so I might have a better chance at that hard body.

We'll see how it goes! I'll let you know in a couple of months if I'm achieving success, or if I've just given up completely on the exercise!

Moments

I heard a country song some time ago, performed by Emerson Drive, called Moments. The song talks about everyday people, at low points in their lives, who remembered moments in their lives when they were more than they thought they could ever be. Moments when they did heroic things, that may not have seemed heroic to anyone else, but for them, was something seemingly out of reach.

"Moments, days in the sun

Moments, when I was second to none

Moments, when I knew I did what I thought I couldn't do..."

I believe that everyone has had moments when they have accomplished something that would never have seemed possible. Or did something that, although may seem inconsequential to me, was monumental for you. Even when we seem quite ordinary, or we don't think our lives are interesting, each of us has done something in our lives that was memorable.

I stood up to my mother once. It took an amazing act of will to hold my ground, but I did it. It will forever be a moment I remember. It may well have been a pivotal moment in my life that shaped my future.

My aspiration was to be more than anyone thought was possible. I haven't accomplished any great thing, and for most people, I might not seem like much, but I have come a long way.

I graduated from college and am halfway through a master's degree. Many people have done this and more. But considering that I rarely attended the same school for longer than one school year at best, more often splitting a school year between two schools, and once even three, this is an accomplishment I think beats the odds. It took 11 years of perseverance to complete my bachelor's, working full time and going to school at night. Walking down the aisle, in a mass of caps and gowns, to receive my diploma was a moment to remember.

My wedding day was another. My new husband and I worked hard and sacrificed much to pay for this day on our own. Although we were on a budget, we had a gorgeous celebration. Everything was beautiful, and there was nothing money could buy that could have made it any better. Such a thing would not have seemed possible to me. But we did it.

I am proud of my son. Of course, this is a joint effort with my husband, but I am proud of the person my son is becoming. I never pictured my life with a child. Growing up in a hispanic culture, this was an unheard-of concept. Although he wasn't in my life plan, he is someone I am very proud of.

None of this may seem heroic to you. These may not even be goals toward which you strive. These are definitely not the culmination of what I hope to accomplish. But I've had my moments.

More Praise for my son's school...

I know I've written about my son's school a couple of times. I know I will most likely write more as the years go on. I can't help that they impress me!

My son goes to a charter Waldorf school in my area. As I've said before, I love the Waldorf philosophy, even though I'm not 100% on board. The teachers that are attracted to this environment are amazing, as I wrote about previously. Finding out that they are also non-union only impresses me more.

But this isn't about politics or philosophy. This is about his two special kindergarten teachers.

My son is active. According to his teachers, he has a boundless source of energy! He is smart, social, and bores easily. He is very tiring! It takes a lot of work to keep him occupied and engaged, although he does love to help and will do almost any task, the trick is always finding the right motivation.

Last week my husband and I met with his Student Success Team. His teachers suggested that we have a special meeting in order to discuss his strengths and "strivings" (as they call it). This team is assembled to address how to best meet the needs of individual students in order to make them successful in school. Although the meeting was scheduled for an hour, it actually took two. The team consists of his two teachers and their mentor teacher. The mentor teacher brought years of experience and an unbiased third party to the table. It was a very productive meeting.

The focus seemed to be on finding the right mix of participation and activity to keep him focused and engaged. His trouble seems to be in getting bored with the activity and then becoming restless and disruptive. The teachers talked about the kinds of activities they have been doing with him to keep him engaged, while giving him a physical outlet on which to spend his excess energy. The amount of extra attention and care he has received from his teachers astounds me.

My concern has always been that although he is not a bad kid, his excess energy and his ability to pull other children into his disruptiveness would give him the reputation of being the "problem student" and that would follow him throughout his school years. One thing I appreciate about this school is that his 1st grade teacher would be his 2nd-8th grade teacher as well, and that would give his next teacher plenty of time to get to know him, know his strengths and weaknesses, and find the right mix to work with what he needs. However, a bad impression at the beginning could sour his whole experience.

During the course of our meeting the teachers brought up some issues they've noticed that I hadn't even recognized. What I considered to be an anger management issue, the teachers actually thought was a sensitivity to sensory input. At first I objected to this idea, but my husband (who does have sensory sensitivities) was quick to agree. I argued that how could a kid who loved to be hugged and cuddled be sensitive to touch. But my husband and the teachers brought it to my attention that it was actually unexpected touch that sets him off, and his response to unwanted touch is the same as children with more severe sensory issues.

They also thought he had an especially low pain tolerance, which again I objected to. However, my husband again overruled me and agreed with the teachers. What I had considered to be an amazing dramatic act at every scrape or fall might actually be a real display of pain. Huh.

Then, to my surprise, one of his teachers pulled out a book that she had been reading for children with sensory challenges! She also gave me a copy of some nutritional baths she had researched for children with sensory sensitivity, and mentioned another book that would also be a good read and apply to my son. As she was writing down the title, his other teacher pulls the book she was suggesting out of her bag!

I was shocked and amazed. How often do your child's teachers independently research an issue, and read a rather large text, in the interest of helping a single child in a classroom? I know he did not receive this kind of care from his public school teacher last year!

Every encounter with his teachers impresses me. I just can't thank them enough.