Political Reform

I know that political reform has been bandied about for a very long time. I also know the impossibility of true reform in politics. However, I'm sick of the political system as it stands right now.

How do average citizens like me change the monstrous and well-funded scam that our government has become? The thing that pisses me off is that the scam is funded by us, without our consent. If we have to finance the large, cumbersome, ineffective "management" system we call government, we should have a right to change it. I mean, in a corporation you may work for terrible management, but generally they are paying you to be there, not the other way around.

I can't believe there are enough people happy with the way things are to not have an effective move to change it.

I would expect my "representatives" to be intelligent, clear and concise, law-abiding, and at least somewhat interested in representing the people that elected them. Is it too much to ask that they not LIE to us? That they not be criminals, and are subject to the same laws that we are? That they hold the best interest of their country or state above their own self-interest?

How did we, as citizens, let it get this bad? How is it that those of us who do put the effort in to ask questions of our "representatives" have been satisfied with vague form letter responses that blow us off?

What I want is to be able to have a choice on who I elect to office. We need more than two worthless people to choose from. We have more than two parties in this country, there are usually more than two people on the ballot for any office, but the monopoly of the two large parties have left these options largely anonymous. Not only that, the "committees" choosing the two worthless people are not looking for someone who can benefit the country, but rather will further the committee's power.

At this point, I'd be happy if no one in office agreed with my point of view, if they could only formulate a clear, concise sentence that expressed their own views. Instead, in the interest of pleasing everyone and keeping their jobs, we get vague double-speak that says nothing.

So what can we do about it? How do average citizens who work, have families, and spend their extra time doing the things we enjoy, start a movement that is large enough, and effective enough to make a change?

Any large-scale change that has happened in this country has required a charismatic leader that spent all of his or her time out speaking to people. They effectively spent their lives to effect change, and even though some didn't see the change in their lifetimes, they were successful.

We now have the benefit of the internet. We have television. We can reach a lot of people with little expense. But people have been expressing discontent online for a while, and it has not galvanized people into doing anything effective. What more can be done? In the words of Lee Iacocca: Where have all the leaders gone?

Friends

Over the last few years I have acquired several really good friends. I don't know how this happened, as I've never been able to make and keep many friends. My oldest friend has been my friend for 17 years now, and that alone boggles my mind. Granted, the first 7 of those years we were a couple, but still. That counts. She's still my friend, and that amazes me.

But recently I realized that I now have several friends that I consider to be close friends. Some have been, or are, clients, and for that I am very grateful. To create a lasting friendship out of a business relationship has been very rewarding. Others are from my bible-study group, and the nature of the group has turned an unlikely group of women into an incredibly tight and trusting group of friends.

Facebook has introduced me to several new friends. Some new, and some renewing of old friendships. These have been exciting and heartwarming.

That doesn't include the friendships I've made in past jobs. These are fewer, but no less important.

I've always been good at casual flirtation, but have never really mastered the art of deep, close friendships. However, recently I received a surprising call late one night to come help a friend who was distraught. I immediately got up and went to her. I ended up staying the night, and coming home in the morning, since it was a work day. Driving home I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that she'd called ME!

That thought got me thinking about all of the really good friends I have. I am truly blessed. I feel slightly guilty because I don't spend as much time as I would like with any of them, and inevitably I've fallen out of contact with some. As I scramble to keep in touch, my focus changes from one to another. I don't know how to hold everyone in my thoughts at the same time.

Making and keeping friends was a lesson I missed when I was young and moving around all of the time. We never stayed anywhere long enough to make it worth the effort. This new discovery strikes me with awe and wonder and I am truly grateful. Friendships truly add the color to a black and white life.

Depressed...

I've been in a slump lately. I've always struggled with cyclical depression, and I guess its my time. I've been blah. I don't have the luxury of staying in bed all day, but I do the next best thing. I'm doing only as much as I need to do to get by. Nothing more, nothing less. Everything is just a few days behind schedule, a little sloppier than it should be.

Hence the lack of posts. For the last couple of months I haven't had it in me to write unless I absolutely feel compelled to. Even then, I've let half of those slip away.

I've been down the anti-depressant route. I've tried a few, settling on the one with the least side affects. I took that for a little over a year before letting it go. It didn't have bad side affects, but it didn't seem to be making much of a difference either. I don't think anyone really noticed when I stopped taking them, so I guess they weren't as effective as they should have been.

I don't know why I get into these slumps. I keep telling myself I don't have time for them. I have so much on my plate, and adding more every day. I work with kids, and they are the ones that lose when I don't feel like doing all the fun stuff that makes the day interesting for them.

I really don't know how to combat this. I feel like I'm watching myself being glum and sour, and telling myself to snap out of it, but without the desire to really do anything more. I feel like I'm letting my life slip through my fingers in large chunks. What a waste.

Disneyland

I just came back from a long weekend at Disneyland. I went with my son, and his girlfriend and her mom. My son's birthday was last Monday, and his girlfriends was this last Sunday, so it was kind of a combined birthday trip for both of them.

It's about an 8 hour drive south from my home, and I have a friend who lets me crash at her house in Modesto, which cuts about 1.5 hours off of the drive on the way down. I have to say, even 6 hours in a car is a long drive. And my son talks non-stop. And his girlfriend appreciates peace and quiet... So you get an idea of how the drive went! At one point, she started meditating in the car, and stayed like that for at least an hour!

It was supposed to be a "surprise" for the kids, but after 5 hours heading south, they pretty much guessed where we were going. It was still fun. They were still thrilled to be in Disneyland!

It was a fun-filled, sleep-deprived weekend! We crammed so much into the hours we had. It was a typical Disneyland weekend, but with the added benefit of sharing it with two girls that LOVED every moment. I have to say that it was fun to watch them having a good time. Especially the mom, who was so over the top excited!

And one little girl got the added bonus of being in Disneyland on her birthday! She was treated like a princess all day! Granted, the day only lasted until 4pm when we had to pile back into the car and drive 8 hours to get home in time to show up for work Monday morning! But still. I've never been in Disneyland on my birthday!

What a great weekend!

Living Life...

It always amuses me when I hear someone blaming their childhood for how their life turned out. Life is a choice. You can choose to live or you can choose to just exist.

I get that you may have had the cards stacked against you. Your parents may have been losers, or you may not have had parents at all. You may have been surrounded all your life with people who were just existing, and you may think that's all that's possible for you. That's your choice. You can't blame your parents for that.

Living is hard. No one ever said it was easy. Some people just don't have the knack, if you know what I mean. They are the ones that see the glass half empty, that think everyone's out to get them, that the government owes them something. You can't help those people. They are so far removed from living they don't know that what they are doing isn't it.

Then there are those lucky ones that just get it, and don't even have to try. They are the ones that go through life exuberant, loving every moment, and taking advantage of every opportunity with abandon. They just know they are alive, and you can't help but watch them move through it with stark adoration, or you just want to shoot them for making it look so easy.

And then there's the rest of us. We know the choice exists, but it's a choice we have to make every day. In the middle of washing dishes, mowing the lawn, cleaning out the garage, we have to consciously stop whining and thank our lucky stars that we have dishes, a lawn, a garage. No, thanking isn't the right word. We ENJOY the fact that we have those things.

But more importantly, when an opportunity shows up that we actually recognize, in the moment, as an opportunity, we're the ones that have to consider the wisdom of pursuing it. Instead of jumping in with both feet as would the natural-born livers, we weigh the odds, discuss the pros and cons, and tentatively stick our toe in. About half of the time, we manage to step through that proverbial window in time. For the most part though, the window gets slammed shut with our toe still in it.

That's the rest of us. Cautiously living. Squinting into the sunlight.