Mistake...

I made a mistake.  Against my husband's wishes I cosigned on a car loan for my nephew.

I talked to him extensively about what he was getting into, what it would require, what he would do if everything didn't go according to plan, and what his exit strategy would be.  I stipulated that he contact me as soon as he knew he wouldn't be able to make his payment on time.  I lectured him on responsibility and how to break away from the losing example of his father.

It seemed like everything was going to be fine.  I felt really good about giving this boy, at 19, a helping hand; an opportunity to establish a credit history, and show responsibility.  I remembered trying to buy a car at 19 without a cosigner, and the exorbitant interest rate I paid because of it.

I started paying for this mistake in the second month.  Because it is considered a high-risk loan (I've learned) the lender starts making phone calls within 10 days of being late on the payment.  It was then that I realized that I was the primary on the loan, and apparently the only one answering phone calls.  I tried to get a hold of him, but like I said, he wasn't answering his phone.  Neither could he return a phone call.  Or an e-mail.

Eventually he made the payment.  But it continued like this every month for a year.  I would receive a phone call, try to track him down, then he'd make the payment.  Rarely did he call me, and usually only after I'd gotten so mad I'd leave a nasty message on his voicemail.

And then, one month, he didn't make the payment.  I got a call warning me it was going to be 30 days late, and again I jumped through hoops to get him on the phone.  His mother finally called me to inform me that they had made payment arrangements with the lender, so it was all good.  I let it go until I found out I had gotten a delinquency notice on my credit report.  I was pissed.  I called him again.  He promised he'd get it off of my credit report.  I called him again a couple months later, and he said they had agreed to remove it.

That's when I started calling the lender.  Eight months later, they haven't removed it as promised.  Now I'm wishing every day I had not believed in this boy.

It gets worse.  Last month, he didn't make a payment at all.  When it got close to the 30 day mark, I made the payment.  I figured I'd give him a break, and when he made the payment he would then be ahead of the game.  Only, he never did.  Now we're getting close to the 30 day mark on the second month, and I've decided to repossess the car.  After getting no response to e-mail, I called a repo man to go pick up the car for me.  I even asked the police in their city to do a welfare check to make sure they were still in their house.  I then left another nasty voicemail.

Finally, he called me.  I told him I was taking the car.  He was remarkably cooperative.  He gave me the information I needed to look up the value on KBB, and I find that it's worth about $6k less than what he owes.  So it looks like I'm going to be paying for this mistake for at least 3 years to come, even after unloading the car.

If this was the first financial mistake I've ever made, I probably wouldn't be so torn up about it.  Live and learn, right?  But I seem to have a long history of "helping" people who can't seem to help themselves.  Time after time I loan money to people who are desperate, just to get them "over the hump", only to find out that the hump is really a steady incline.

A few months ago Suze Orman was on Oprah saying now is not the time to cosign for a loan.  Apparently, two years ago wasn't either.  I apparently have to learn my lessons the hard way.  Again and again.