I'd forgotten how much I loved having a dog in the house. It's been several years since I put my dog down, and I've never really missed her. I was sad, I loved her more than anyone, but I didn't MISS her. The day I put her down was horrible, and I still remember how heartbreaking it was to be doing that all by myself, however this happened during a time when I was still several layers into a really deep depression. The reality of it was pretty removed from where I was.
Since then, I've just avoided contact with dogs. It is almost distasteful to be around one. I have a busy life, and having a dog can be inconvenient and expensive, but I used to be a true dog-lover, and I am quite the opposite now.
Until today. Having this puppy, who doesn't even know me, following me around all day, sleeping at my feet, and just being an all around sweet little thing, made me realize how much I miss having a dog. I'm practical enough to know I can't fit a dog into my life right now. Neither my space, my schedule, nor my husband would make having a dog easy. But it makes me happy to know I might be softening some. There's hope for this cold heart!
2 comments:
Boy, when I came over and saw that dog I got a little worried. I thought she's not thinking about getting a dog again, wholly crap. So, I glad to read this blog and see that you realize that a dog would not work right now. You know you can be a dog lover and not have a need for a dog.
You remember, Reina, when we went to school at FountainView? I had that black and white dog called Todd. I loved that dog with all my heart and soul. I never did see him again after we moved to Africa. I grieved so badly for him and my heart became so hard. It took years for me to even look at a dog again but then much to my dismay my mother got me one little ugly puppy. I melted and grew very attached!! It was but about a year later that she was poisoned to death by neighbors. It was heartbreaking! Again years later I got a dog for my children but never have I felt any strong attachment for her. It just isn't in me anymore, I think. Our hearts are such funny things aren't they?
Julie
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