Frugal Grocery Shopping

Even before I started blogging on my own, I have been interested in reading other people's blogs.  The difficulty is that I am not interested in only one or two topics.  Which means I RSS feed to a LOT of blogs.  I try to eliminate blogs that I find aren't holding my interest, but it seems like my list of blogs still manages to expand.

So, in addition to the two pastors I admire (RLP & Reverb), I read about finances, politics, news, my friends, and most recently, frugal advice.

There is a whole population out there of people who know how to be thrifty!  And they were being thrifty long before it came back into style.

There are a lot of tips for frugality, but the biggest and most common seems to be how to save on your grocery bill, using coupons.  Now, I've tried to do the coupon thing before, and I failed miserably.  It required way more work than it was worth for the $1.50 savings at the end of my $150 shopping bill, so I didn't stick to it.  However, this is my biggest monthly expense (other than my mortgage), and the one expense I have some control over.

After reading the blogs of these self-proclaimed coupon queens, however, I realized I had gone about it all wrong.  There is a trick, a system, to making this work.  It's not about finding coupons for things you may or may not use, and using them when you need that product.  The trick is to collect the coupons for the items that you would definitely buy anyway, and stocking up when you can combine your coupon with an already marked down price.  These women scour their grocery advertisements for sales, then combine those sale prices with the best coupon to give you the biggest bang for your buck.  It's quite an art... or science!

Armed with this new knowledge, and a month's worth of coupon inserts, I sat down during nap time yesterday to sort through them all, and cut out the ones I could use.  With the number of inserts I had to go through, this process took a couple of hours.  After that, I needed to sort them into a system that would be usable in the store.  THAT took another hour or so.

I had several coupons that were due to expire tomorrow, so this morning I set out to do some shopping and price comparisons.  I started with Target because I've never shopped for food there, and I wanted to get an idea of their prices.  I ended up collecting a lot of information, and several good deals on non-grocery items.  I cut $27 off of my bill by combining coupons with sales there.

Then I moved on to Safeway, another store I rarely visit.  I had much better success here.  I saved $58 on this bill.  I also price shopped at Save-Mart, just to see who offered the best prices in town.  In addition to these stores, I have a Winco, Costco, Sam's Club, Raley's, and a BelAir in my vicinity.  These I've visited and have a pretty good idea, and plenty of receipts, to compare.

Altogether I cut a little less than 50% of my bill today.  None of it was for anything I would not have bought anyway, at some point.  The difference was that I really needed none of it right now, but by taking advantage of the sales, and stocking up, I probably bought them for a much better price than had I waited until I needed the items.

So, it looks like I'll need to invest in more shelving....  ;-)

CPSIA Update...

I just received an e-mail (thanks Debra!) with an update on this legislation.  The Consumer Product Safety board voted unanimously to put a stay on this ridiculous piece of legislation for one year!  

THANK YOU to all of you who called your representative or mine.  I'm not convinced we made a huge difference, considering that this came from the enforcement agency rather than through the legislative body that originated the law, however, I still think that a getting in the habit of making your voice be heard is a small step in the right direction for our country.  Maybe, just maybe, it was America's response to this bill that made the difference.

So, thank you.  And thank you for passing on this post to the people that you knew.  I know I was not the only one writing about this law, and trying to get the word out, but it often takes hearing something two or three times before we're convinced of the necessity to move on it.

A Cool Tool...

I have had this cool gadget for two months now, and I keep meaning to tell you about it, but haven't found the time.

Well, I can't hold back any longer.  For those of you who see me on a regular basis, you've probably heard more than you want to know about this tool.  Bear with me.

Blue Line Innovations (bluelineinnovations.com) has created a gadget called the Power Cost Monitor, and SMUD, my local utility company, partnered with them to make it available to SMUD customers already pre-programmed with our power rates and thresholds.  They mailed me a postcard months ago asking if I wanted to purchase this tool at a discounted price during their promotion.  After thinking about whether or not to spend the money, I went ahead and ordered it.  I figured it would be interesting to know how much you save when you turn off a light, or unplug an appliance, or any of the other energy-saving tips I hear about.

Needless to say by the title, I'm in love with this product!  I have definitely saved the purchase price in energy costs already.  Granted, that doesn't count the cost of replacing the energy hogs that were my porch lights!  But another month of energy savings will pay for those too.

Enough rambling, let's get to the meat of this post.  I have to tell you about this product.  If you go to the website I mentioned above, they have a picture of the tool.  Essentially, the large number at the top of the screen tells you how much energy you are using AT THIS MOMENT.  This is done by attaching a "reader" to the meter on the side of your house that transmits data to the monitor.  It reads how fast your meter is spinning, and translates that to a cost/hour.  So, when you turn on the light, you can see an immediate change in this data.  Using this tool, I was able to determine the amount of energy each appliance in my house uses, and what that costs me on an hourly/weekly/monthly basis.

The other sections tell me how much I'm using now as compared to other times during the month, how much my utility bill is so far, and what my utility rate is right now.

Knowledge is power!  And by acknowledging what costs the most money, you can effectively trim your usage.  Granted, finding out that my 10-year-old dryer uses a lot of energy doesn't mean that I can afford to replace it with a high-efficiency dryer right now, but knowing what my current dryer is costing me will mitigate some of the cost when it is time to replace it.

Like I said, replacing my outdoor lighting has already paid for the cost of the monitor, and will soon pay for the cost of the new lights.

This is a cool tool.  Theoretically knowing that turning off the lights will save you money is nothing compared to actually seeing what that cost savings is.  Before long you'll find yourself sounding like your mother, "turn off that light"!

School

I started my second semester of my master's program tonight.  Our winter break was six weeks long, which is about two weeks longer than the community college winter break.  At four weeks, I was ready to go back to school.  By the sixth week, I was dreading it.  That extra two weeks gave me just enough time to relax, enjoy my free weeknights, and wonder why I was making life so difficult for myself!

All weekend I was thinking about starting school again, worrying about paying for it, and wondering what I'm getting out of it; trying to find the value in continuing my seemingly endless education.

Then I walked into class, and I couldn't stop the stupid grin that fighting its way through my headache.  I LOVE SCHOOL!  I don't know why.  I can't imagine a more draining, time-consuming, and generally unproductive use of my time, considering I have a full-time job, and always have had a full-time job, even when getting my bachelor's degree.  However, I can't seem to keep myself away from the classroom.

And it's not like I'm taking classes that I think are fun, or interesting, or exciting!  I'm taking courses that I think are necessary to improve my job skills, to better my chances at getting a job, or to enhance my resume.  All rather boring, technical, or useful subjects.  However, I can't help but enjoy it.  Even when I dread the papers, the hours, or especially the group projects, I love going to school.

Isn't that weird?

We Make Change...

I called Washington D.C. again yesterday.  I wanted to make sure my senators know that I'm not impressed with the president's choice for Treasury Secretary.  I'm sure the man is extremely qualified, and has a lot of good experience, but if he can't figure out his own taxes, how is he at all qualified to enforce the tax law onto the rest of us.

I can't believe how politically active I've become.  I would never have imagined this even three months ago.  I was of the mindset, as probably many of you are, that there isn't much we as citizens can do to direct the train wreck that is our government.  I do vote.  But there is not much power in that, since the political machine allows me only to choose between two less-than-ideal people.  As I got more involved in the voting process during this election, the hoops that a candidate has to jump through to make it past the gauntlet of the party leaders, the media, and the special interest groups appalled me.  A candidate can no longer run for office based on an ability to make a good leader, but is more likely to be chosen by powerful people for his ability to keep the status quo.  Is this much of a choice when it comes to checking the box on the ballot?

There is something we can do, however.  We can let these people we elected know what we think.  I wouldn't have thought that to be true three months ago, but I'm determined to make a difference.  And maybe, if enough of us are determined, and make a phone call, and tell a friend or relative to make a phone call, these calls will add up, and the people that think they now have the keys to our country will learn that they don't own the road.  We do.  I can't make a difference by myself, but hopefully I can convince you to join me.  And given the right tools, and the right motivation, we can get our representatives, who are in office to represent OUR wishes, listen to what those wishes are.

I'm not saying we have to agree on the issues in order to make a difference.  More importantly, we need to get into the habit of paying attention, and making an effort.  As long as we ignore what our government is doing, or are resigned to thinking we have no control, the more license we give them to continue taking over a little bit more of our lives each year.

It doesn't take much.  A few minutes on the phone, or a few minutes to send an e-mail.  That's all I'm asking.  If you don't know who to call or write to, ask me.  I'll look it up for you.  If you hear about something going on in our government that doesn't sit right with you, send me an e-mail (reina@gamillah.net).  I'll post it here, and hopefully we can start a discussion.

Well over half of the country voted for change in this last election.  It isn't up to the president to decide what that change should be.  It is up to us.  WE create change.  Maybe not quickly, but all of the really important changes that have made this country what it is, abolishing slavery, civil rights, woman's right to vote, these have all happened because PEOPLE decided that they didn't like the way things were going, and they wanted to make a change.

Start small.  Maybe a single phone call about a single issue that you feel strongly about.  That's all.  Feel empowered.  It could be that that one step can start you on a path towards something you never thought possible, and we can see a REAL change happen in our country, in our lifetimes.

Fairtax

Today I met with two local fairtax supporters.  I was hesitant about meeting them at first, because I didn't really know the purpose of the meeting.  As it turns out, they just wanted to attach a face to a name for other proponents in the area, since there are so few of us on the west coast.

We talked about what could be done to spread the word about this legislation.  Some ideas were discarded, and some held up.  The bottom line is that there is no chance whatsoever that this legislation will be passed without mass support from the people of the United States.

I promised a long time ago to expound on my understanding of the fairtax, so here it is.  

As I read it, this legislation would eliminate federal income tax, medicare tax, social security tax, corporate income tax, capital gains tax, estate and gift tax, self-employment tax, and the alternative minimum tax.  As a result, the IRS would be disbanded and no income tax forms would need to be submitted on April 15, thus eliminating all the costs associated with that process.

In its place a national sales tax would be created that would cover the current level of income generated from the above stated taxes, estimated at 23%.  This means that every new item you purchase would have a 23% sales tax included in the price.  In this way, retail and service companies would be the only ones submitting taxes to the government, thus narrowing the source of government income and making the tracking of this income simpler.  For this inconvenience, these same companies would receive a modest payment from the government.

In order to make sure that this is a progressive tax, and not overly burdensome for the lowest income group, a prebate will be issued to every registered citizen covering the entire tax burden up to poverty level.  This means that at the BEGINNING of every month, every registered household, would receive a check from the government.  This is not a hand-out.  This is intended to cover the prospective sales tax expense for essentials.

One of the key features of the fair tax is that the sales tax would be assessed ONLY on the final product.  In other words, this is not a VAT tax.  No taxes would be assessed during the manufacturing chain that would artificially inflate the cost of producing an item.  With no corporate tax and no payroll tax to match, corporations would find the cost of doing business in the U.S. much reduced, and possibly BETTER than doing business elsewhere in the world.  This would invite business back to our country and increase employment of our own citizens.

Another key feature is that without capital gains or gift taxes, money that is being sheltered offshore to avoid being taxed can be brought back to our own banks and used to strengthen our economy.

And finally, by streamlining the areas of taxation, it will be much harder for the government to hide tax hikes or added taxes in various areas of our lives.  As it is, we pay much more than the standard tax rate that gets deducted from our paycheck, if you count all the taxes the corporations pass on to you embedded in the cost of their products.

For more information, go to the fairtax website at www.fairtax.org.  Many questions and arguments have been addressed there.  I would love to have more people look into this and discuss the pros and cons with me.  Do you know anything about this?   Leave me your comments.  I would like to see more people discussing this topic on our side of the country.

Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act

The name sounds pretty impressive, doesn't it?  It also implies legislation designed to protect us from harm.  I mean, who can argue with product safety improvement?

However, don't be fooled by the pretty words.  This legislation, drafted in response to the flood of recalled toys imported from China, will cripple or put out of business many small businesses in the United States that cater to products made for children.

The CPSIA was passed in 2008, effective February 10, 2009.  This legislation states that every product to be used by children under 12 years must be tested for lead content prior to being sold, and be certified that the product meets government standards for lead content.

On paper that sounds great.  In reality, the legislation made no concessions for items produced BEFORE this law came into effect, meaning used and antique toys would need to be tested, or for items produced by small businesses who would be effectively put out of business by the prohibitive costs of testing.

Even more disturbing, there has not been much mention of this legislation in the press, and many of the people who will be most affected have not heard that there is a new law coming into effect within weeks that could put them out of business, and possibly put them in jail.

Case in point: I have a friend who is phasing out of her child care business to start a business selling baby clothing and accessories.  The items are all hand-made.  Most of the items are sold online via her website, or at local craft fairs.  However, with the passage of this law, each item produced would have to be tested by a third party and certified before being sold.  This testing can cost thousands of dollars.  There is no way that she could afford to continue with her business with this legislation as written.  Moreover, she did not hear about it from any official representative, and had to look it up to find out how she would be affected.

I know I mentioned this topic in an earlier post; that I had called Washington D.C. to complain/ask about this legislation.  Because of that call, an aide to Dan Lungren sent me an e-mail requesting that I call her.  She wanted to know how this legislation would affect me.  In my line of work, however, this legislation would only affect me indirectly, as I don't sell products.  Nonetheless, I was impressed that she followed up.

It turns out that she is actively looking for small business owners that WILL be affected by this legislation so that Congressman Lungren can present this information before congress and get the law amended to save thousands of small businesses that sell new and used children's clothing, toys, books, and accessories.

If you know anyone who fits this description, PLEASE call Dan Lungren's office, at 916.859.9906.  Ask for Alexandra.  I would love to give her enough ammunition to make a difference.  She needs this information by Friday, so spread the word.

Patriotism, Politics, Inauguration

The inauguration was all over the news today, and with good reason.  Today will forever be remembered as an historic day.  Even without being an Obama supporter, I can appreciate the historic nature of this day.  One of the talk shows I subscribe to was talking about memorable presidents of the past, and the characteristics and achievements that made them memorable.  It made me appreciate where this country has been and how far it has come in a relatively short period of time.

I am proud to be an American.  There are times when I am embarrassed and saddened by the things Americans do.  There are times when I am angered by the stupid decisions my government makes.  There are times when I am frustrated by what a few corrupt, powerful people can get away with.  But overall, this is a great country, and I'm proud that I was born into it.

I am proud of the servicemen and women that defend my right to be embarrassed, or angry, or frustrated by what my fellow Americans do, as well as my right to say so. 

I am proud of the moments we have, as a country, where we pull together to accomplish a common goal, for the common good.

Today was an historic day.  Whether or not I agree with this new president's ideas or policies, I am glad that he has opened the door of possibility.  Hopefully we can use this victory to usher in a new age where leaders are chosen by their ability to lead, not by the color of their skin, their gender, or their long line of political forefathers.

Blogging...

I have to say, I've missed writing this week.  I'm surprised at how often I thought about something to write, and came up blank.  However, I'm more surprised at how much I missed NOT having something to write about!

When I started this blog, I had the intention of making every entry be about something.  In other words, every entry would have a topic of discussion, and not just be a random entry about my day.

Because of this, I've thought a lot about blogs; blogs I follow, as well as blog tips about writing blogs.  Most "experts" agree that in order to have a successful blog, you should have a specific topic of interest that you are more or less an expert in, and can share this information with other people who are interested in this same topic.

I do read blogs like this.  As you can see from the list of blogs I read, however, I don't have a single topic in which I am interested.  I'm not an expert in anything.  I have several areas of interest.  I know there are blogs out there, like Pioneer Woman, that are conversations.  Her blog is more of a diary of events throughout her day.  Combined with her flare for writing, it makes an interesting read.  She has many followers, as testified by the thousands of comments left on any given entry.

However, I find myself wondering about the longevity of this type of blog.  My life isn't interesting enough to keep people entertained.  So what direction should I take this?  Do you like the format?  Do you like the randomness of the entry topics?

I would love your feedback.

Parents, Divorce, and Stressed Children

In case I haven't mentioned this, I am a childcare provider.  I work out of my home, and have a full-time assistant.  Working with other people's children is a very sensitive job.  I understand the liability involved in caring for children, and how a parent might worry about what is going on during the day, or how their child is being treated.  We've all heard horror stories about horrible daycares.

No parent will ever believe that anyone else could do as good a job of raising their child as they do.  However, most of us have to work, and as a result, they end up paying someone else to take over that job while they're away.  The trick is to find a provider that is as closely matched to your child-rearing style as possible, and with whom you feel comfortable.

When I interview a potential parent/client, I try to be as up-front and open about my style as possible, in order to eliminate any misunderstandings down the road.  I also try to create a relaxed atmosphere that would make it easy for a parent to come to me if they have a concern, so we can discuss and resolve any issues before they become overwhelming.  Sometimes this works, and sometimes it doesn't.

This week I had a new child start in my program.  This child is two years old, and has never been in a child care setting before this, except for an hour or two at the gym. 

I generally try to warn parents that the first few weeks are tough for a child in this situation, at this age.  They are old enough to understand the lengthy amount of time their parents are away, yet young enough to easily forget that their parents will come back for them.  It takes days, and sometimes weeks, for a child this age to understand that mom or dad will be back to get them, every day.  In the meantime, it is very scary to be dropped off at a stranger's house for what seems like an endless day.  It takes an equal amount of time for the child to feel comfortable, and comforted in this new environment.

However, once the routine is established, and they have gotten to know me, and the other children, they become very secure.  Children crave structure and the security of knowing what to expect.  It doesn't take long for them to accept and adapt to this new routine.

To make the child mentioned above even more unsettled, two weeks before starting, her parents split up.  This is a lot of change in a short period of time.  Understandably, she was upset.  For the entire week she just wanted to be held and comforted.  Each day she cried less, but it was still difficult.  By the end of the week, she was able to quietly sit in my lap and watch the other children play, but had not gotten confident enough to engage in any of the activities.  

Her mother was quite distressed by this.  Her usually bubbly, happy, talkative child had become a distressed, clingy, scared little thing in a matter of a week.  Although I tried to explain that this was to be expected, it was too much and her mother pulled her out of care.

This didn't bother me.  I feel bad for the little girl.  Wherever she goes next, she will have to start the process over.  Each time will get easier for her, but not without cost.  Children adapt.  Given time, she will recover her bubbly self.  I have no doubt of that.  However, if as a parent, you aren't satisfied or comfortable in any way, it is your duty to find a better environment.  I understand that.

However, what bothered me was her parting shot.  The mother called at 3:00 pm to tell me she was pulling her daughter out, and that the dad would be there at 4:30 to pick her up.  She then said "I hope you can take good care of her until he gets there."

I was stunned.  Understand that I have spent the ENTIRE WEEK holding this child, to the exclusion of every other, because that is what she needed, and her mother sounded worried about her safety in the hour and a half remaining in the day.  I honestly don't know what she meant, or what she was implying, but I'm still stunned.  What did she think was going on?

I don't know.  It must have been just as scary for the mother to see this change in her daughter, but I can't help but feel offended by this comment.  What do you think?

Lack of Rambling

I've had a distinctly empty head this week!  No matter how much I think about writing, nothing comes to mind.  I've been feeling overwhelmingly content this week, about where I am and how incredibly lucky I've been, and that's possibly contributing to this lack of ideas.  Complacency is deadly!

I've been reading various publications on debt reduction, working-at-home options, and financial advice for troubling times.  However, nothing has really jumped out at me as a revolutionary discovery.  It seems like everyone is merely repeating what everyone else is saying.

One of the things that Suze Orman stresses is getting and staying out of credit card debt.  She mentioned that in this financial crisis, credit card companies would be increasing interest rates given any little excuse, and sometimes without an excuse.  In that she was correct.  Yesterday we received a notice from a card that has no balance that the interest rate was being kicked up to 24.99%, for apparently no reason at all!

So to further state the obvious, that money managers are making lots of money writing about, credit card debt is bad!

Validation

Tonight I was with a group of women friends and the topic of discussion turned to validation.  What does feeling validated mean?  What would it look like to be validated by the important people in your life, like your parents, your spouse, your friends?

It was an interesting discussion.  One of the women mentioned how her husband validates her every day by saying "I love you" at unlikely moments.  I never thought I needed validation from anyone outside of myself, but thinking about it in those terms I realized that that isn't the truth.  It only took a moment to realize that all my life has been a struggle for validation by the people I respect and admire.  

The difference between my friend and I, is that I don't feel validated by being loved, but rather by being respected.  I'm constantly striving for the great idea or success that would grant me recognition by the people I consider to be wise or intelligent.  I want to feel that my opinions are respected, that my ideas have merit.

I can't say that I've reached that goal.  I can't say I've had an idea or thought that would merit that kind of acknowledgment.  But I do know that this struggle motivates me to analyze my ideas, organize my thoughts, and try to present them coherently.  More often than not I get flustered, and all of my well-thought-out ideas scatter like marbles on ice, but I'm still trying!

What validates you?  What would you most like to hear, and from whom, that would make you feel validated?

God and Women

As you know from reading my earlier entries, I've been reading my bible.  I read it through entirely, and am going back and re-reading bits and pieces, since it's a long book.  There's no way to remember everything it says in one reading.

Anyway, one of the things that struck me is how many prominent women are mentioned in every culture but that of the Jews and Christians.  It would seem that God, my God, the God of the bible, introduced the idea that women should be subservient to men, and his people have been busy making an example of that to the rest of the world.  Christians especially, seem to have done a excellent job of setting this example, ultimately culminating in the dark ages, when women were worth less than cattle.

Now, after 6,000 years of this, women are working hard to dig themselves out of this trench to demand equality and respect.  Equality before men AND God.

So what was the point of this?  When I first read through the books of Moses, this really angered me.  During the time God was laying out all 600+ laws and instructions to Moses, he couldn't have said ONE DARN THING to protect women from what he, as God, should have known would happen?  It seems clear to me that Jesus respected women, and treated them well, which is probably why he had such a following of loyal women.  So why the disconnect?  What was the purpose of being such an ass?

You don't need to tell me what I already believe: which is that God DOESN'T know what's going to happen, and that he changes his mind just like the rest of us.  I would like to hear some other theories, though.

Making a difference, maybe?

I called my congressman in Washington D.C. today!  Well, I called his office, anyway.  I honestly only expected to leave a message on an aide's voicemail letting them know just what I thought of the bailouts and another ridiculous new piece of legislation going into effect next month, in the hopes of adding my name to a list of people with similar opinions.  I figured that if enough citizens clogged their voicemail with the same complaint, one of us would be heard.

Surprisingly, I was actually connected to a person!  I'm sure it was an aide, or maybe just a message-taker, but I was still surprised to actually be talking to someone IN the office of my representative.  

So surprised, in fact, that I forgot what I was going to say, asked some generic question about my congressman's position on the bailout, then hung up.  Once I got over the shock of speaking to someone, I got my act together and called back to ask some real questions!  I had to admit to having just called, and having forgotten what I was calling for, and still needing to ask the question I had intended to ask in the first place.

My complaint about the second piece of legislation I mentioned actually got me transferred to the office of the idiot congressman who drafted the legislation, and his aide let me know that they were amending the bill, a press release would be issued tomorrow, and he'd send me an e-mail with the details of the press release as soon as it was available.  He assured me my issues were being addressed, at least in part.

I have to say, I feel very empowered!  I have always felt that Washington D.C. was so far away that nothing I said or did had any affect on what went on there.  And even though I have "representatives", once they leave the state, they could really care less what I have to say until election time rolls around.

Well, there's that, and having no idea how to go about finding out who my representatives are, and how to get a hold of them!  Turns out it's pretty easy to find this information, with a quick google search and a zip code.  Plus, someone sent me a phone number in an e-mail.

So now I'm passing this information on to you.  Google "find my representative" and find your congressman.  (You can do the same for your senator.)  Then call him/her at 1-800-828-0498.  Ask to speak to your representative, and the operator will transfer you.  I'm sure there is something you'd like to tell those b***heads in Washington.  Be empowered, make a difference, let your voice be heard!

Learning to Read

My son decided to learn how to read over the weekend.  This was incredibly exciting news to me since, as you might have guessed, I love to read!  I have to explain a little about how my son operates.

He's a very cautious learner.  He tends to assume he can't do something until he's convinced he can do it well.  The most notable example of this was when he was learning to walk.  He was sure that he couldn't do it, even when he was, and as a result wouldn't let go of my finger while walking for at least two months beyond the point he could have been doing it on his own.  Even though my finger was offering him nothing more than moral support.

Likewise with reading.  He's been playing spelling games with me for months, spelling out words as a game we play in the car.  However, looking at those same letters on a page meant nothing to him because he was convinced he couldn't read.

This weekend, however, he decided he wanted to learn, so I gave him an old Dick and Jane reader I had.  Since Sunday, he has read halfway through this collection of stories, almost entirely without help.  He just decided he could, and therefore he can.  Despite the fact that these traditional readers don't pussy-foot about with phonics, or starting with 2-3 letter words, or leaving out all but the most basic punctuation.

I am most impressed with his progress.  More importantly, I am impressed with the traditional readers we grew up with, versus the crappy way that kids are being taught to read now.  Sometime soon I'll have to bore you with my theory of why one method is better than the other.  I bet you can't wait for that!

Postpartum Depression

I just finished reading an old blog posting by Penelope Trunk about postpartum depression.  She described the depression she experienced after her second child, and how she still had to maintain a normal life and work through it as she was the sole income provider for her family.

As she told her story I was struck by the fact that so few people really understand depression of any kind, but especially postpartum.  And even more troubling is that so few people recognize it, even in their closest friends and family.

I suffered from postpartum depression, however I didn't realize what was wrong until it was over.  I did a pretty good job (I think) of getting through my day, doing my job, and making sure the necessary things were done.  I don't know anyone who can get away with giving in to depression, wallowing, and staying in bed.  I have heard that some do, and this is how they recognize they are depressed.  However, I don't know anyone who can afford that luxury.

So how do you know you have a problem?  There are plenty of stories told of women no one would have guessed were having problems until they did something violent.

For me, I knew I was depressed.  Or, I thought I did.  I knew I wasn't functioning at my normal efficiency or ambition levels.  I knew I wasn't giving 100% to my job, or my family.  But I was getting by.  I knew I wasn't myself, but I didn't know what to do about it.  I mean, life and circumstances change.  This could just be the new me.  I don't think anyone would have been any the wiser if I hadn't started talking about wanting to die, at which point my sister-in-law kindly convinced a therapist to see me.

The therapy didn't last (she was terrible), so I tried anti-depressants, which helped by dulling all of my emotions.  When I got tired of being a semi-zombie, I quit taking them.

I can't say how long it lasted really, until one day I realized I had my ambition back and was again ready to try expanding my horizons.

I don't know the answer to this problem.  But I do sympathize with every woman who is working through this alone, in silence, because what else can you do?  You are doing no less than what is expected.  Every day you are required to get out of bed, go to work, come home, feed your family, clean up, and fall into bed at night without complaint.  Who cares that your feet are dragging, you are full of anger, resentment, and sadness, and you just want to cry all the time?  I feel for that woman.

God, a realization

As you can tell from previous posts, I've lately been wrestling with the concept of God.  Is he real, or am I deluding myself?  I've considered myself to be a "believer" for almost four years now, but I constantly struggle with doubt.  I have so many questions that remain unanswered, which seem to erode any confidence or faith that builds up in me.

Tonight I voiced this doubt to my bible study group.  To be honest, it is more of a community group than a bible study group, but we've been meeting for almost three years now.  Through the discussion in this group of unique women, I've come to a realization:  I've been waiting for God to show himself to me in some spectacular way, when in fact, I haven't noticed the little things he's been doing all along.

I think it's easy for me to miss, or forget, the incremental changes that happen in my life.  Life is busy, and crowded with thousands of little details that consume my days.  But over the last year and a half I have changed.  I've softened considerably, and can even admit to showing and receiving love to family and friends around me.  I don't think that would have been true two years ago.  The only difference in my life that can account for this change is that during this time I've read the bible.  The entire thing.

I'm not saying that reading the bible is, of itself, the reason for the change, but through the reading I've gotten to know God a little bit.  I think most people would consider reading the bible a form of torture, but it's really an exciting book.  It's full of plot and intrigue, sex and murder, war and slavery.  

There are plots in here that even Hollywood couldn't beat.

But the interesting thing is that in the midst of all of these stories is God.  And each story tells a little more about his character.

I think getting to know his character has changed mine.  Slightly.  I can't say that I've been overwhelmed with the spirit and have an open telephone line to God, but I can say that the rock that has been my heart for the last decade or so has softened into something that might resemble a real heart.

"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you;  I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh."  Ezekiel 36:26

Living Every Day...

...as if you mean it.

I read several blog posts yesterday about the new year, resolutions, and what to do with the rest of your life, blah, blah, blah, but one of them actually said something that struck me.  I may not do him justice, but the author (Dr. Boyce Watkins) said that every day we should be moving forward.  We should be striving to better ourselves in some way, even if that is just a small thing.  His exact words were "We are all becoming something, and it is our day to day actions that determine what that thing is."  In other words, what we do every day reflects where we want to be.  If I have a goal, shouldn't I be working toward that goal, even if it is only a tiny step, every day?

Another blogger mentioned CANI (Constant And Never-ending Improvement).  I've never heard this phrase before, but it is definitely a philosophy I subscribe to, primarily because I have a never-ending thirst for knowledge.  I can't say that everything I dive into is an improvement, but I do love to learn.  At the end of the day, learning something new gives my day value, even if the knowledge serves no discernible purpose.

I'm a long way from making every day count, or living each day purposefully, but I am trying to get there.  I yearn for a time when I can recognize something meaningful or valuable in every single day.  Until then, I'll keep moving forward.

What about you?  Do you have a goal you are working toward?  Is it obvious to you in your daily life?  It doesn't have to be obvious to everyone, in my opinion, as long as you know you are moving forward.

In Dr. Boyce's words:  "Ask yourself honestly:  based on my day to day actions, what am I becoming?  Are my words in line with my activities, or am I lying to myself?"

Puppies

I have a visiting puppy at my house today.  As a favor to one of my daycare moms I agreed to watch her kids AND her new puppy so she could do some shopping on her day off.

I'd forgotten how much I loved having a dog in the house.  It's been several years since I put my dog down, and I've never really missed her.  I was sad, I loved her more than anyone, but I didn't MISS her.  The day I put her down was horrible, and I still remember how heartbreaking it was to be doing that all by myself, however this happened during a time when I was still several layers into a really deep depression.  The reality of it was pretty removed from where I was.

Since then, I've just avoided contact with dogs.  It is almost distasteful to be around one.  I have a busy life, and having a dog can be inconvenient and expensive, but I used to be a true dog-lover, and I am quite the opposite now.

Until today.  Having this puppy, who doesn't even know me, following me around all day, sleeping at my feet, and just being an all around sweet little thing, made me realize how much I miss having a dog.  I'm practical enough to know I can't fit a dog into my life right now.  Neither my space, my schedule, nor my husband would make having a dog easy.  But it makes me happy to know I might be softening some.  There's hope for this cold heart!

New Year

Here's to a happy, positive, new year!

I am wishing everyone a year of good thoughts.  I believe in the law of attraction, and am sending out positive signals in order to attract positivity to myself.  We'll see how it goes!  I've noticed that it is much easier to focus on negative subjects than positive, and I've been decidedly lacking in writing materials since I decided to change my attitude.  Please bear with me as I sort through this change of heart!

Yesterday I did take my son on his promised visit to the snow.  My husband came along to get a break from his depressing lack of motivation to work.  He figured a day away might improve his outlook.  I'm not sure how well it worked, but it was nice to have him drive the whole way!

We didn't find the place I was hoping to visit, but we did find a spot where we could park, play in the snow, build a snowman, and do a little sledding.  All in all, it was a good way to spend a day off.

How about you?  Any interesting New Years stories?  

Reading

Against my better judgement I started reading a novel last night while I took a bath.  I am in the middle of another "how to" book, and that didn't fit the bill for this occasion.  There's just something about reading a self-help book that does not lend to a relaxing bath.

This novel is the second of a trilogy that I bought from a local author at an art fair.  It is obvious that the author has limited skills in storytelling and writing, however, I've read my share of books by less-than-stellar authors.  My problem with this series is the main character.

The story takes place in early 20th century England.  What I know of this period of English history (which isn't much) is that it wasn't a great time to be in the lower, working classes, and it especially wasn't a great time for working women.  

So, the main character in this book is a working class woman, which isn't so bad, but she's a MEEK working class woman.  She routinely lets the men in her life railroad her into doing and being something she doesn't want.  She looks with envy at every woman around her, including her sister.  Now this may be an accurate portrayal of what women were like during this time, but there is a reason why the best stories from that period were about strong women who bucked the system, against all odds.  There's a reason Little Women was about Jo, and not one of her younger sisters.  No one wants to hear about the daily life of an ordinary person.  How is that interesting?  We all live that every day!

Characters should be someone who we can relate to, yet that can still leave us inspired to be more, or do more, or accomplish more.  Characters should have character!  Am I wrong here?