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I wrote a post earlier today about male attractiveness. I ran it by my husband so as not to offend him, and he told me that it was shallow. Definitely not one of my better posts. I've done some editing and am putting it out here anyway. I can't help it if it seems shallow.
This is definitely not a complaint about the double standard of men and women in the workplace, or why attention was given to the clothes Sarah Palin wore, or why attractiveness and youth are an asset to women in the workplace, yet experience and confidence are valued in men. Those are all valid issues, but not on my mind today.
I love an intelligent man as much as the next woman. I'm happy to discuss any number of intellectual topics with intelligent men (assuming I can keep up). However here, I'm just talking about outward appearance. I'm talking about a man I would want to have sex with.
I want to know why some men don't put much effort into making themselves look good, yet these same guys will think that they can get any woman to have sex with them, if they works at it long enough. They seem not to think that their appearance has anything to do with it. A double standard seems to exist on how physically attractive a man has to be to get the great looking gal. On King of Queens, the really cute, petite brunette is married to the fat, balding delivery guy. Is that supposed to be funny? Or is that supposed to represent reality? It is a comedy, after all.
If I want to make myself attractive, I have to put some effort into it. I try to stay thin. I get my hair done, and spend some time trying to make it behave in the morning. I'm not ugly, but I'm the first to admit that a little make-up goes a long way for me. I shave all the right spots, get pedicures, try to choose clothing that best compliments my body.
In other words, I spend quite a lot of time on how I look. And when I know I look like I've been run over by a Mac truck, I'm still thinking about it. I think this would be true for the majority of women.
So why don't men? What do you do to make yourself MORE attractive to the woman you sleep with? Men seem to think that if they are happy with how they look, everyone else should be. In fact, it is considered unmasculine or effeminate for men to put too much time and effort into their appearance. I know a few married men who unapologetically depend on their wives to dress them.
Are women not expected to be swayed by an attractive outside? What makes us somehow immune to physical attractiveness? Ok.... I don't know why I put that question in. I can tell you right now, we're not immune. We do a double-take as often as the next guy when a beautiful, well-dressed man walks down the street. Putting some effort into how you look is ATTRACTIVE. It speaks of confidence, self-worth, and is just plain easy on the eyes. Why is that shallow? And why is it shallow of me, but acceptable for a guy to size up a person by how they look?
Not everyone is born beautiful, myself included. But there are things that we can do to improve the cards we were dealt. That's all I'm sayin'...
2 comments:
I think some men have their wives pick their clothes because they get tired of hearing how much their own choice in clothes sux. The easy way to avoid that is to let her pick your clothes, particularly when you really don't care.
The whole King of Queens thing is interesting, the show with Jim Belushi is the same thing. I find it amusing that in survey after survey, women claim the most attractive thing about a man is their sense of humor, which would warrant Belushi or Kevin James having great looking wives, but you ladies aren't really telling the truth there are you? (not you personally)
I would have to agree with you that there isn't anything attractive about a person of either sex who makes no effort to be clean, well groomed, dressed reasonably well, etc, etc. I suspect that there are so many things that ladies are expeced to do in this area that guys aren't (make up, etc) that it's inevitable to cause women to be understandably resentful.
I generally do not like short hair on women. I'm fortunate that recently, my wife has let hers grow out despite the extra time it takes her to deal with it because I like it that way. I'm hoping being funny will keep me out of the weight room............
I totally agree. The double standard is maddening...I hate that if a woman doesn't wear makeup every day she looks old and tired...and for men, a shower and shave are all the improvement they can muster. Look at all the men in their 30's that just accept a beer belly as the next stage of their life,( if they even notice that their pants don't fit anymore!) while we women dwell on every little pound. Ugh!
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