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I have had conversations with friends who have kids, and some who don't, about how to teach my son the value of a dollar. My husband and I do very well, we aren't wealthy, but we definitely don't scrimp at the grocery store. We live in an upscale suburb, so he's surrounded by friends who also aren't hurting for money.
In addition, he has grandparents who are well off, and being the oldest grandchild by a few years, he has had no shortage of attention from that front. He's also my older sister's only child, so she can't help but spoil him, and she and her husband are doing just fine as well.
He's surrounded by people who don't really put a lot of worry and thought into paying the bills. So how do I teach him that there are lots of people that do worry, that he can't take for granted that he will always be taken care of, and that even if he never has to worry a day in his life, it is still good practice to know how to conserve.
I apparently have to give kudos to my mother. We were dirt poor when I was growing up. She was a single mother of seven, and making do on fairly little. It wasn't just the fact that we couldn't afford any of the things the other kids had, but that she made it clear why we couldn't afford it. I remember early on, well before I was 10, being shown the breakdown of her income, and what the bills were, and how much money that left for food.
My mother didn't believe in credit. Actually, my mother couldn't afford credit. If she couldn't set aside enough to save for whatever extra thing needed buying, then she definitely couldn't afford to make a monthly payment plus pay interest on whatever it was she had to buy.
I also remember doing our grocery shopping at whatever big warehouse food places came before Costco. We definitely didn't pay for membership, but we did use the huge flats and buy in bulk. For us, that meant 20# bags of dried beans, 40# bags of flour for tortillas, 20# bags of rice. These were essentials. We survived on rice, beans, and tortillas. Potatoes, eggs, and oatmeal were also staples. I remember getting a fat black grease pen at the door so we can keep a tally of what we were spending. Foodstamps made these trips possible. I also remember feeling grateful for the block of American cheese, powdered milk, and sometimes bread given out by the government, although being equally conscious of not wanting to be seen in that line.
I also remember sitting at the car dealership watching and listening as my mother bargained for a car. Maybe this is where I got the idea that an inexpensive new car is ultimately cheaper than a used car if you have no money for repairs. That 5 year warranty is essential. Reliability is much more important than a lower car payment in the long run. However, that didn't mean she didn't work that payment down. I remember her ordering a car without a/c, without a radio, without automatic, without any of the extras that ultimately added to the bottom line. This was before everything was "bundled" and you didn't have a choice.
All of this gave me a sense of the cost of things. I knew what running a household cost. I knew not to expect to go on field trips at school if they cost money; there was none to spare. I knew why we got our clothes from the local charity organizations. So, even without really noticing, I was learning a lot about money.
I'm definitely not frugal, but I understand the finite nature of money.
So back to my original thought, how do I pass this on to my son when he sees his dad's extensive collection of toys, his mother's extensive collection of books, and his own room full of toys. He definitely isn't getting everything he sees and wants. He also isn't spoiled like many of his friends seem to be. But I still want to teach him about costs, and the choices in where to spend; how spending one place means less or no money for something else.
All in all, I'm thankful for the education my mother gave me in this. There were so many things she did badly, but this... this was good.
3 comments:
Don't forget his mother's extensive shoe collection...
When we were teenagers, our parents would give us a set amount of money for the month. That was money that we had to use to buy shoes, personal items, etc. I ruined everything I learned during that time when I went to college...but it was still an interesting idea. I knew that if I wanted XYZ, I had to figure out how to pay for it. I used to crack my friend's dad up with talk about coupons. Avery may be a bit young for such an operation, but it might be worth a try. If you are ambitious, maybe he can even use a free money tracking program on the computer to keep tabs on what he has and how he spends it. Even if you did it for him for now, it might make for good lessons when he has no money to get that must-have item. You can go back and show him what he spent his money on instead.
Hey Reina. I've thought about the same thing with my kids. I want them to learn to be responsible with money, to be thankful for what we have, and to be mindful of what others DON'T have. It is hard to do when we live in such an affluent area. We do something similar with Caleb as DeathMetalDave suggested to teach responsibility. He has chores to do each day (right now he is cleaning his room, scooping poop, and cleaning the bathroom) and he gets paid for them. (He has to do other things around the house that are just part of being a family member.) He only gets paid if he does them and he distributes the money to a giving, savings and spending jars. When he wants a toy, he has to buy it out of his money. And he gets to choose a charity to give his giving money to. This method helps with responsibility, but I almost think it is impossible for them to be truly thankful and to gain a heart for those less fortunate than us unless they see it first hand. We are planning on taking our kids to local shelters and eventually, a third world country to help them see first hand the poverty most the world lives in. I'm hoping this will make a lasting impact on how they view money and the world.
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